a person is out of my life..forever?... depends how long i can hold on to my grudge i guess. and if you haven't figured me out a little by now then i'll tell you, i can hang on to a grudge for years.
my day starts off well..
i sleep in. i got around 11 hours of sleep. alot i know but i was dead tired. i go to my internship for a few hours. i now intern at an assisted living facility for seniors. not my first choice but eh..seems fun. after that i had plans to go to redondo and hang out with Mr. Marine. it was supposed to be a great night because i haven't seen the poor kid in around three months! that's a long time and so the night was supposed to be ours, be fun..!
but it wasn't..
not too long into my being over there i get a phone call to ask if i'm cheating. that's right..cheating. i have to walk out of the grocery store and i'm screaming cuss words in the parking lot over the phone to the bf because, frankly, i'm pissed that "someone" has accused me of doing this. after a whole year of this drama, am i really going to waste time and cheat? NO! i would just break up and sleep with Army Boy. so i have to explain myself, that i'm not cheating and if i wanted to sleep with him then i just would and wouldn't waste my time sneaking around. ask repeatedly who and the response i get is.."the people living with you". this means alena. can't remember if i've mentioned her or not but if i haven't, she's my brother's girlfriend who moved back from russia and is now living with me and who is annoying.
soooo great, she's spreading shit about me for some reason. i don't know why..but great. i've known her since fifth grade. she was like a big sister..great. what a bitch.
go back into the store crying, explain what happened yadda yadda. over the next few hours my mom texts me to see what's going on. i tell her to stay out of it. finally some peace from my phone but, my head won't shut up. and my heart won't stop beating fast. for hours it wouldn't stop racing. so around 10:30 i leave redondo, take the forty minute drive back down and i go to see Army Boy because obviously i don't want to go home. he's such a doll... took me on a surprise drive to Sonic around midnight for a red velvet cake shake. DELISH!!! we talk a bit about random meaningless funny stuff and then go to his place to watch an episode of dexter.
he cheered me up a bit.
3am...i should go home. i get home and my brother and his dumb gf are sleeping in my bed. turn on my light and say "get the fuck out". i say it enough times and loud enough that my mom wakes up..by this point i'm cussing with every word in the book (i don't normally use the "c" word but i did this time) and i start going off about how they're disrespectful in thinking they could go behind my back and talk to my boyfriend about what they think is going on. how my brother gets high everyday and his life sucks, how she has no right to stir up trouble, i want her out of my room and not sleep here anymore, how my business is..MY BUSINESS! how i never got involved and poked my nose around their relationship when it failed the first two times, how i was always there for him when she crapped all over him the first time, etc etc etc. then my brother tried to leave with the last word and i totally stomped all over him for it...
i gave them what they deserved and they had no choice but to take it. because i was right and they were wrong. completely.
my mom, to my surprise, let me rant and cuss and you know what... she was on my side. she thought that if there were any concerns they should have been addressed to me personally and my relationship with the bf was my business to be dealt with. and actually, she was on Army Boy's side too. she basically said something along the lines of "if he (the bf) wants to bury his head and not know anything about (Army Boy) then that should show you something. when i told you you didn't have to chose, you really didn't. if your relationship is worth salvaging then he should be big enough to understand that you need your friend and stop being mad about it".
and she's right. i was honest about what i was doing and shouldn't be made to feel otherwise. i'm getting my life together with school, work, my internship and trying my hardest to start my relationship off on the right foot. i'm not taking shit from anyone and if the bf doesn't see it that way, then what can i do about it? nothing.
but for right now i've won. i've handed their asses to them on a platter and taken no prisoners with what i've said. ruthless, cut-throat... and i'm proud of myself.
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