I'm All About the Inappropriate...

except when it's like, honestly really inappropriate!

i'm inappropriate in basically all areas of my life. i don't care if people over hear what i say and i really don't care if what i'm saying is offensive or shocking or uncomfortable. if i'm having a conversation with someone i shouldn't have to censor it just because someone may take something the wrong way or someone eaves dropping comes in at the wrong time in the convo or people are just plain being nosy. do what you will because frankly i don't give a shit...

but today, at bree's graduation party i got a text from Army Boy. i didn't even know i had gotten a text until drein quickly handed me my fone and i barely had time to read it when

*inappropriate hand gesture* got shoved toward my fone and inappropriate angry words were said at my fone. of course by none other than "him". (i really need to think of another name for him) anyway...

i was shocked. really. i just stood there for a few seconds. what am i supposed to say or do to that? really unnecessary first of all and inappropriate to do in public. so i just scooted over to an old friend and ignored "him" for about 20 minutes until we finally left. of course, silent treatment all the way home. and then i got my stuff and quickly walked to my house when he starts to follow me (seriously annoying) i said, "you don't have to walk me to the door. in fact i don't want you to." then he said that he had to get some stuff out of my room to which i asked him what and he said "stuff" so i asked again and his answer was.."some pictures". umm...NO! started opening my door.. "and i left you a note in your bag but i doubt you want to read it now".. "it's fine bye" *door slam*... (mom) "geez..slam!".."well fuck him!"

that's how it went. then i got dressed, told her i was mad and was off to see Army Boy. she just kinda rolled her eyes and let me go. three cigarettes later, i still don't feel calm. i kind of just feel like my voice went away. i don't really have any thoughts in my head of value. seriously while he was sleeping i just sang "sunshine, lolipops and rainbows..." over and over in my head. now that i'm home i still don't feel like my voice is back. i feel mad but kind of like there's this sinking feeling. my skin feels kinda neutral... like living in a place that isn't too hot and isn't too cold but because it's in neither direction it's just there and you can't feel it..that prolly doesn't even make sense but that's how i feel.

i don't even know what to think anymore. i'm seriously just tempted to give him back his stuff and just not talk to him until my summer is over. if he can't even control himself when seriously nothing dramatic happened...then wtf?

and on top of that i swear this is the worst semester ive had at school in a long time. i failed a class, got a 79.7 in another but managed to pull an A in another and either an A or B in my last class. there's no in between with me. i either do really well or epically fail

i just want to unplug from everything and live in a bubble. my own bubble with animals and sparkly things and never come out. just myself and all the things i like and only xx chromosomes are allowed because frankly, the xy species aren't as much fun as animals and sparkly glitter...