in oregon

so i'm on vacation and i've been here in Tigard (oregon) since tuesday...i've been sick since then too. not the best few days.... i spent tuesday traveling and throwing up so that sucked...but now i'm feeling much better. more like myself. my ovaries have been acting up too, unfortunately.

anyway, there is a point to this post... here in oregon is my sister who is much like my twin. she is ten years older but basically looks like me just a tad taller and more body mass. we think alike, act alike, have the same interests, etc. it's quite spooky. and so i'm here with her and her bf who used to be quite active in the BDSM community up here in Portland. not so much anymore since the arrival of the baby but more than half of the convo since i've been here has been on the bdsm topic. it's just natural and since i've only experienced things with Army Boy, it's nice to share stories and here tips and other things from them.

i feel quite at home, not necessarily in her apartment or nething, i mean more about being more of myself whenever we talk about bdsm things....it's weird how freely it is to talk about myself and about themselves. it's a natural thing that i wish i could do more with on a more regular basis.

and then i got to thinking about Mr. Big versus Army Boy and how i feel about this topic...may be a little more info than necessary but just sumthing as simple as a vibrator being used...when it comes to Mr. Big i don't like the idea of him using it on me but Army Boy, i have no qualms about toys being used when we're together. i feel more comfy about talking about things with Army Boy...it's like this whole aspect of myself if more at ease with Army Boy and today in the shower...i felt for a glimmer that i can see myself with a future with no Mr. Big. whether or not it would be okay i don't know but i saw it for a sec and this kind of surprised me