Elephants In the Room

"The time has come", the walrus said, "to talk of other things..."

He had the right idea. Poor execution, eating the oysters and all, but still, it's the thought that counts. I feel I know his downfall.

I would like to talk about other things but first things first...the elephants in the room. I have been MIA for around three months. Alot has happened, but I still succumbed to what makes me me and I ate all the oysters. Delicious at the time but maybe a bit premature...? And by this I mean, the outcome to my fairy tale.


Synopsis... I got back together with the ex. My mother's birthday was the 1st of december. A party was held on the 4th and a few days later we were back together. The ultimatum was drawing to a close and I decided (after a weekend of having family gawk over him) that maybe I wasn't ready to give up. That maybe if I were to be with Army Boy that I would think about the ex, end up hurting Army Boy more than I already was and that was bad. So to spare that, we got back together. Everything was fine until not too long ago. I kept my distance from Army Boy but one night it changed. I got drunk because I was angry, went to see Army Boy because he knows how to calm me down and make me sane..and then I started to remember why I loved him in the first place. Not to mention that we are still friends. I was upfront and honest that I wasn't willing to give my friendship up. He was my door when I needed one to be opened and there's no way I felt I could turn my back on him.


During the last few months was finals as well and multiple times of getting sick. Stress, stress, stress...and more stress. I'm not the healthiest person so I've been really beaten down.

On top of that, there's a certain part of myself that the ex and I don't discuss but it's something I need and desire. I tried to talk about it tonight with him and I feel like crap. It took all the strength I had not to text Army Boy for comfort. It seems I'm in a pickle.

Did I decide too soon? Did I eat the oysters too fast before I found out if I was allergic?

I really miss blogging..I miss the clear head I felt like I had (if even for a few seconds). I thought that the month of break I had from school I could use to just be with myself but all I do is sleep, sleep, sleep. It's nearly 6am and I haven't gone to bed yet.

Does anyone else feel like they wish they had all the answers already?